“Is it true, is it kind, is it necessary?” Shoot for two but make sure it’s at least one. And if you ever by chance come across a trifecta, don’t let it escape unsaid!

I also notice working in mental healthcare that a lot of my coworkers have realized some of the patients really do need “tough love” but they don’t realize that the Love part is critical. And it’s obviously not romantic love but also not even love in any personal sense. It’s love in the better version of the Bible sense where you should love your fellow human beings. When you say something that someone isn’t going to like hearing for their own good, you need to start with a practical statement of why you’re saying it out of love.

So I’ll say “I don’t just want to give you ice cream today; I want you to know how to ask other people when you leave here. I’m going to give you about fifteen minutes to go to your room and breathe, then you can come back and get in line and ask again.” While some of my coworkers will just say “no I’m not gonna let you talk to me like that” which isn’t wrong, but also isn’t actually tough love because they forgot the love.