SeductiveTortoise

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

*Including burying those first Americans first.

That’s ridiculous. I think they just wake up from a fever dream of opulence and a superiority complex.

I’m just too lazy to toss it right away so I stack it until I hate the stack more than getting up.

Then the cycle repeats.

The greater good!

I tried tasting vinegar to check if I still could, but nothing.

I had this twice, the first time was at least 25 years ago.

(Right next to the pee)

But I don’t love pythons!

In the feels?

A Thai man was bitten on the testicles by a 12-foot python while he sat on the toilet

Oh no! Oh no no no, that’s way worse! Way worse!!!