I’ve got a gun and two kids. We can split the profits. DM me.

6 or 7

Sorry, how many do you like to stack? 🤭

My memory is downright hieroglyphic.

The A with a circle means your clothes have slept around a good bit.

🍕 🍕

Ever tried Fathead Pizza? It’s a keto recipe with a crust made from almond flour and mozzarella cheese. It’s really good.

Maybe start by drawing a crowd?

TIL there are people who prefer Pepsi. I literally avoid places that serve Pepsi, but I respect your right to live so perplexingly.

Preaching to the choir, my friend. And I don’t “always eat the same thing.” I’m sorry if you falsely equate Neapolitan style, Chicago style, the pizza buffet, etc… but they’re totally valid back to back to back, MOM.

A sandwich cut horizontally just takes us back to two pieces of bread. Where we started. What’s your game?

I really wish that guy from Boston Market hadn’t fucked you before dinner.

So like an Uncrustable.

I’m going to eat you on a bed of mashed potatoes and gravy, you succulent bird…

Just like in Click starring Adam Sandler.

Don’t rainbows mean 👉 👌 ?

Now Lucifer in the Bible was a snake and spoke in a sort of riddle? Not sure if that’s anything?

Exactly, my bad. If the dentist farted in my mouth I’d really be pissed on.

Hard might be generous.

Sometimes might be generous.

I miss being young, my friends and I hanging out on the weekends, carefree, getting high, voting third party.

All we got was plain ol sewer poo.