If I was going to build death ray mirrors in space this is how I would pitch it.

Tf are people gonna do once you’ve built the death ray?

It’s not about selling sunshine, it’s about melting your enemies with the power of the sun.

STOP TRYING TO MAKE THORN HAPPEN

I used to play this all the time in grade school. One day I had like 12 pens sticking out of my ass.

Most dentists recommending eating at least 3 poop.

YOU DONT HAVE ENOUGH FINGERS.

LOOK AT HOW HAPPY THESE PEOPLE ARE. THEIR HAPPINESS IS BECAUSE THEY HAVE MORE FINGERS! MORE FINGERS MORE HAPPINESS!!! CLICK HERE NOW TO BUY FINNEGAN’S FINGERS THE BEST FINGERS THAT WILL EVER FING!!!

Better yet, who thinks any part of Microsoft gives a flying fuck about the concept of safety in any capacity?

VICTORY FOR THE GARLICTERIAT! POWER TO THE PIZZA!

This sounds like an awful situation, and my heart goes out to you both.

I know many people that are struggling right now have found that smoking crack really helps their situation, and this could end up being just what she needs in these trying times.

My spoon is too big.

Back in uni when I’d go out drinking I’d be walking through campus and people would just randomly scream out “WHAT!'” And someone else would scream out “OKAY!”

There were many "fuck yo couch"es too