How can you actively prevent it from getting worse—like starting now/today?
Existential dread in a cubicle before 30. Just gotta learn to thrive in boredom or find another job.
The biggest problem is that I have a list of hundreds of smaller problems and that list keeps growing. I have them all in a text document, and it is so overwhelming I have no idea what the fuck to do about it anymore at this point, so I keep piping it into an AI and have it tell me what to do (its suggestions are shit but it’s better than nothing), but the list is so long that even the AI is getting overwhelmed by it and if it gets much longer it’s going to run out of context, and its costing me like $30/mo in API usage now which is another problem I need to add to the list.
So, you dont have a task/reminders/calendar app?
I do but it also has like 100 things on it and most of my problems have extremely vague deadlines so I can’t put them there. The last time I went through and filtered out no longer relevant issues was a week ago.
Whats an example of a vague deadline problem?
For instance, I’m a college student right now and I need to apply for internships or jobs for the summer, and jobs or colleges or scholarships etc for the future which does not have a clear deadline but needs to be done sooner rather than later. Then many more tasks like this of similar, greater, or lesser importance or that stem from the bigger problems and I only have time to pick a few of them, to complete around clear tasks with hard deadlines (i.e. homework, exams) which I have no problem managing but take up most of my time and its importance depends heavily on those vague tasks.
How might something vague be made more concrete, time-bound, and actionable, but also limitable? Often tasks or projects expand to fill the time container alloted to them so what could be done to limit that?
I don’t know
Thats a problem. You dont have infinite resources and time and capacity to do free shit like job searching.
Depression. Lots of depression. And anxiety. And probably some other stuff.
Tried tons of different treatments and nothing has really worked. Going to try therapy again on recommendation of my psychiatrist, but I’ve only had negative experiences with therapy and I still really don’t see how it’s going to fix anything.
what about a radical lifestyle adjustment.
Thanks. I never thought of that. /s
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My mother has Alzheimer and it’s costing us 15K/mo to care for her. She only has about a year of money left. She is in good physical health but mentally she is a toddler. her care costs are double my take home pay, so if her money runs out before she dies, i am screwed.
Nothing I can do about it. It’s the American healthcare system. Some problems are totally outside of anyone’s person control.
15k/month is a lot. Really a lot.
Have you considered the possibility of medical tourism, to say India? Any particular treatment/procedure that really requires you costly American doctors, and can’t be done elsewhere?
it’s not medical care. it’s eldercare.
that isn’t how any of this works. You don’t ship people off to other countries like they are cattle. Jesus.
So what are you paying 15k per month for if not full care and dumpint her in an elderly home?
Or maybe closer like Canada? Even out of pocket you might save more in Canada healthcare.
that isn’t how reality works.
Developed a short attention span, no clue how to fix it atp.
My spoon is too big.
My anus is bleeding
Loneliness is actually destroying my life
Have you ever tried just not being lonely? Huh? You ever think of that? /s
it’s actually really not hard if you stop seeing validation from other people and seek it from yourself.
Do you do anything to change that?
one thing i notice abotu ‘lonely’ people is they systematically refuse to change anything in their life.
and this is often from people who are not ‘lonely’ on the outside, but their many relationships are entirely performative. and they have built up their entire life as one big act.
This isn’t an attack as I don’t interpret your comment as being malicious, this is just an observation from an outside observer of this interaction.
You may be right about lonely people and just sharing info you have noted from your own experiences with them in your life but that is a brutal take down of @daggermoon@lemmy.world when they are sharing a major problem in their life.
Your comment may hold true for them but we don’t know that so it feels more like an accusation and victim blaming than being helpful.
Hey @daggermoon@lemmy.world, I’ve been there. It can be rough.
If you don’t have someone to talk to about it have you tried a therapist or other mental health professionals? I find this is one of the most important first steps of any life issue being faced, just talk about it with someone who knows a thing or two about the topic, make it a regular and consistent conversation.
I don’t know your situation but if you need it, this helped me;
Being social and maintaining friendships is a skill that can be worked on, no one can run a marathon on their first attempt, it takes training.
Starting small and working your way up. Saying hello to a stranger in the street or making small talk with a check out clerk at the grocery store is a good place to start. If you struggle with small talk then practice that first and work up from there. If you struggle with social anxiety then breaking through can be hard, some people struggle more than others. Training these skills sets do produce positive results.
*Be kind, honest and fair with all people you interact with. This isn’t a mask to put on, the ideal to strive for is to be those things as a person.
*Talk to people about what they are interested in or doing (learn about them) instead of focusing on talking about yourself.
*Respect others boundaries.
*Regularly check in with those in your social circle/community, don’t wait for them to check in on you.
*Get outside. Don’t just spend time at school/work & home. Find a third place where you can blend in but also be a regular. Cafe, bar, pool hall, library, gym, reading in the park, walk/hike in an area you like… whatever aligns with your interests and feel you could eventually become comfortable existing in that space but it is also a place where you are not required to be social. Eventually becoming comfortable with being in that space lowers anxiety of being there and you start to recognize the regulars and they start to recognize you. That makes socializing easier since you are now comfortable in the space and familiar to others who are regulars as well.
You get back what you give out. Do not expect to connect with everyone and not everyone will reciprocate your attention or interest but if you do it enough you will find those who do. Keep at it and you will find more and more.
Good luck and god speed!
This is an extremely reductive take based on anecdote.
There are a lot of reasons people can feel lonely. Hell you can even feel lonely when you have deep meaningful relationships. Sometimes it’s a result of anxiety or depression, or an abusive relationship.
Of course some people fall into the category you speak of too.
billionares also feel like they are poor and struggling and only that next 10 billion will make them successful.
that doesn’t mean it’s true. it means they are mentally ill.
reality exists outside of our feelings.
and this is often from people who are not ‘lonely’ on the outside, but their many relationships are entirely performative. and they have built up their entire life as one big act.
There ain’t a whole hell of a lot I can do to change my present situation. Believe me, i’d love nothing more. At the end of the day, it comes down to money and time of which I don’t have much of either. I genuinely believe if I could live and work in the city and make enough to get by and then some, the vast majority of my problems would be solved. Unfortunately for me, I live in the middle of bumfuck nowhere.
As for your second point, assuming I understand it correctly; The only positive relationships I’ve been able to maintain are that of my sisters. I try to be honest and genuine with others but they either don’t vibe with me or they try to take advantage of me. I get discouraged with trying. I had to end my first serious friendship because she kept trying to use me and if I objected to her she’d just pressure me more and try to make me feel bad. I have trust issues as a result of that experience. I asked out a woman I really felt a connection with and she told me she liked me too, then she found out I don’t have a drivers license and told me she wanted to be friends. I honestly can’t say I blame her.
If you have all the answers, what should I do? Therapy? Been there, done that. I went to therapy for years before my therapist terminated because she felt there wasn’t anything more she could do. By the way, that question was rhetorical.
Set goals and meet them. If you need more time or money, then start working towards that and achieve it. Invest in yourself.
Stop making excuses and being miserable. Because all you’ve done to me is whine for three paragraphs about how helpless you are. Time to grow up buttercup, the only person who is ever going to ‘rescue’ you is yourself.
Justifying staying alive to myself.
Not saying I’m suicidal, but I’m increasingly losing my enthusiasm for living compared to when I was a kid. Used to have all these aspirations for my life and how I’d make a difference, now I’ve just accepted apathetically going through the motions until I die.
maybe think about like how much stuff there is actually to do? like in tasks or in things you could do
and then realise that even a full human life is not even a drop in a bucket to do all of this
so that there is no reason to not be alive, since beeing alive will like never get boring
It ofc depends a lot about what you find intresting, but like lets say you are into reading, there are so many books to read. And even if you read all of them (intresting ones), there are other languages, which you can learn, to read even more…
Or like just get linux, and try to set it up perfectly, this alone feels like it could take a lifetime btw
I discovered this week that i might have been depressed for 7 years, dunno how i didnt notice, i just thought i was lazy as hell
When I got diagnosed it took a while to come to terms with it because I’ve always felt this way. It’s strange having all the happiness I can remember occurring simultaneously as being clinically suicidal. Almost feels more hopeless after being diagnosed because turns out I’m just like this and that’s how it’s gonna be going forward.
don’t sell yourself short. you are probably depressed and lazy.
Somebody important is mean to me and I don’t know why. Nobody seems to know why in that person’s entourage.
People are optional. All people are optional. Some with believe they are owed a place in your life for one reason or another. Remind them how wrong they are by going no contact or repeatly sending the same messege that you are no longer replying to them. How long or short that reminder is, is up to you.
Perhaps their behavior will change after this reminder, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. People suck.
My life is pretty much in limbo right now. I can’t get a job because I don’t have a bank account and I can’t get a bank account because I don’t have an ID and I can’t get an ID because my parents wont get me one. I’ve been asking for a bank account ever since I graduated high school back in 2016 but they just keep telling me “We’ll get you one eventually, we just don’t have time right now” despite the fact that they sit around playing video games all day. What frustrates me even more, is that they let my sister get a bank account and a part time job back when she was still in high school.
Yikes, that’s a long time to be stuck in what sounds like an abusive family dynamic. I’m so sorry.
I’m guessing you’ve looked into any possible alternative routes to an ID?
I have not looked into that, if there are other ways of getting an ID that are legal, I might try them.
Yeah, you should. What country are you in?
I live in the US. I actually checked online for what my state requires to get an ID and I don’t think it’s possible for me to do without my parents. The only things I have access to are my SSN and possibly my birth certificate but I would need to provide several additional documents that I either don’t have access to or have no idea how to provide them. It also seems like there isn’t a way to get one online unless you’ve previously gotten one, which I obviously haven’t.
In the US, there’s Adult Protective Services that might be able to help you.
So you’re in your 20’s, in the states, and have never had a bank account?
I won’t make assumptions about how that happened. I’m Canadian so I don’t know how helpful this will be since our regulations are a bit different, but have you tried just walking into a bank with everything you have and explaining the situation? If they can’t set up an account they should at least be able to point you in the right direction.
In Canada we can get a driver’s learner permit with minimal ID. Birth certificate, SSN and proof of address should be enough. If you can get that you’ll have a government issued photo ID and you’ll be set. Alternatively, we can get a provincial ID with minimum documentation, if you can’t get a driver’s licence. There must be some equivalent in the states.
Another option is to get someone to notorize a document and photo that says you are you. Just call a notary near you and ask how.
I would try going to the bank on my own, but I’m not allowed to leave the house alone because my parents will threaten to call the police on me because they think I’m suicidal.
That also rules out the last thing you said because even if I could get an ID through that method, I still wont be able to get a bank account.
It sounds like the root problem is not being able to leave the house.
Do you know anyone who can escort you? Furthermore, “leaving the house while suicidal” isn’t a crime. You’re a legal adult, so unless there are measures in place the cops can’t force you to do anything. Even if they can bring you back, you can probably set some stuff up before they find you.
do you have trustworthy friends or relatives that can help you out? this seems shittier than it looks…
can you look up the documentation for it and steal it from you parents? find a way to sneak to the dmv so you can get your id?
Not my story but I want to share - in the US - the girl I’ve been dating for several months recently told me she has been receiving SNAP and Medicade for her disabled daughter. She left an abusive relationship several years ago and has been struggling to keep it together. This month, without SNAP, she asked me for money. I sent her what she needed and I’m sure things will be fine. For her, this is a disaster. She’s emotionally tapped out and feels like she is failing her daughter. They’re going to food pantries but so is every other working poor person right now. She works doing Amazon deliveries which fits with her daughters therapy schedule and allows her to work when able. Ex is out of the picture and does not help, deadbeat stuff.
I just put this out there for some perspective. Many folks are going through hell right now. I wish I had a better solution for her, or for others suffering. I feel so powerless to make any meaningful change in the world. I care for her a lot but I have no idea what to say.
This sounds like an awful situation, and my heart goes out to you both.
I know many people that are struggling right now have found that smoking crack really helps their situation, and this could end up being just what she needs in these trying times.
I guess that sounded way funnier in your own head.
Big problem: I’ve spent too much time trying to install Seafile in my environment.
Prevent it from getting worse: Maybe just use Filebrowser?
