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Cake day: August 9th, 2023

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  • Queer is a reclaimed umbrella term for any non-cis or non-hetero relationship. If two men were in a relationship they might consider themselves queer. It’s not really a word you’d ascribe to other people, it’s self-descriptive.

    A man and woman in a relationship is a hetero relationship, if one or both are trans or gender non-confirming they may consider themselves queer. It’s with noting that a hetero relationship does not necessarily mean they’re straight either, bi or pan people often date the opposite gender.

    I wouldn’t normally consider a non-monogamous relationship queer by default, otherwise anyone who cheats would be queer.

    Since it’s a reclaimed slur the best move is to not use it at all unless the person you’re talking about has made it clear they’re comfortable being described that way by you.