I guess I choose Denmark or maybe Portugal. Having USA and Russia being superpowers has been real shit.
Magically summon pizza whenever I want
but only anchovy and pineapple pizza
Can communicate with any animal
But they can’t communicate with you
Oh damn. You got me bad on that one.
Haha imagine trying to explain that to people.
“I have a superpower, I can speak to animals they just can’t speak back”
“But everyone has that superpower, I can do that too”
“Yeh but I’m actually really talking to them, like in their language that they can understand”
“How do you know?”
“…”
I mean, you can ask an animal to do some arbitrary action specified by the other person, and then the animal (hopefully) does it. This side effect isn’t great, but it definitely still leaves some real usefulness.
Telling my dog as I go to the garage, “I’ll be back in literally one minute.” and being understood would rock.
But the thing is, if they do the thing you asked in a way where it’s noticeable that they only did it because you asked, then they are signalling to you that they understood, which is a form of communication and the word used was “communicate” with animals.
First, the use of “communicate” in the original superpower description is presumably referring to communication that couldn’t happen without the power - and the side effect uses the same term. As it stands, my dog can tell me she understands I intend to walk her by jumping off the back of the couch and being excited at the door.
So if the superpower only refers to novel communication, I’d interpret that to mean anything more than I could reasonably communicate to my dog, and more than she could communicate to me (confirmation of understanding).
If the side effect, despite using the same verb, actually renders animals LESS able to communicate with me than they already can, that seems an especially uncharitable interpretation.
Alternatively, I can ask the animal to wait until I was out of the room before performing the action for the third party. At that point, only that third party would end up communicating having seen the comprehension/performance.
Well thought out lol. You should get a genie, I think you’ll be prepared.
I appreciate the sentiment, but probably not. The genie would just scoff af my argument and say nothing was guaranteed to be “fair” about the situation. My only saving grace in talking about it here is that fellow humans are more likely to share a similar base point for reasoning.
Being able to hear from afar
But only bad music.
True Omnipotence
(Also read/listen to Worm
But of an unrelated universe…so schizophrenia with delusions of grandure lol
If I’m limited then it’s not true Omnipotence is it?
You have no choice but to see everything, wether you want to or not.
If I don’t have a choice then it’s not true Omnipotence is it?
But only over dial-up.
If I’m limited then it’s not true Omnipotence is it? Honestly though I’d take it if I had to though
I can teleport instantly to any location I have previously visited.
But each location has a specific song you must play on an Ocarina…
Do I know the song automatically? Or like, do I have to defeat someone in single combat to get to learn the song?
“Oh, and a chocolate croissant, please, thanks! … and uh, I’m so incredibly sorry about last time,”
Thankfully my people know how big a nerd I am, so I actually have been gifted an ocarina. I’m ready. Now, what’s the song for my doctor’s office, again?
You don’t get to choose the location, it’s just a random place you’ve been before.
Ability to control every atom in the surrounding area of approx 1 km.
You can control only 1 at a time.
Nuclear bombs, or a really good scientist.
1 at a time wouldn’t get you a noticeable amount of energy for a bomb (stuff is radioactively decaying around you already right now). A scientist might make some use of it, but with control of only 1 atom at a time they’ll struggle to build really any molecule as I imagine most intermediate molecules would break apart as soon as you “let go” to grab the next atom.
Depends on what “time” is in case of one at a time. Is it plank time, or is it as fast as I can think the command.
Even if nothing can be achieved by controlling it, just being able to feel/see the atoms means I can figure things out as a scientist. Finding how atoms are arranged into molecules, proteins etc are super helpful
I assumed as fast as you can think the command for each one.
I agree with feeling being useful for feeling around; I’m happy with the power having some value.
I had an idea I wonder if the energy thing can be salvaged. Like uranium to lead happens naturally and the energy is too little from a single atom. But we don’t have to do things naturally. If I’m controlling the atom itself, maybe I can just split all protons and neutrons from the uranium at once, then I have a bunch of free particles that can go collide with other atoms and start a chain reaction.
I think most powers, even with limitations, probably is going to be useful once we know the clear limits. Maybe not the one that need so much energy and the results are random so you can fail and not be able to try again.
Fall asleep at any time and place by will
It is impossible to wake up until you are fully rested, including by alarm, fire, or intruder.
I either wake up rested or not my problem anymore.
Just make sure you pee first!
But when you wake up, you’re in a random spot in the wilderness. Every time.
You wake up with a severe headache everytime.
This is apparently my superpower and side effect combo.
Immunity from all replies to this post.
But you are incredibly smart. BOOM GOTEM.
You end up with no superpowers at all
Hmm, but are they immune to this restriction?
Teleportation!
But you have to go through TSA every time
Easy there Hitler 🤣🤣🤣
😂 I’m on the shitter at work damn you, can’t be laughing out loud!
Honestly, still well worth it. And with pre-check it’s even faster.
You can only teleport to random places
When I first started playing Ragnarok Online, there was this one item, aí believe it was something like bat wings, that was really valuable and when you used you would teleport to a random place in the same map/sections. I thought it was a shit item, but soon enough I understood that its power was to run away from problems when you are low on health.
So I think it still is a good power.
Random place WITHOUT obstacle detection or height limit makes this risssky… 😆
The odds of you NOT ending up dangerously high above the ground or embedded IN the ground are… low.
I think the odds of ending up within sight of the earth are basically 0. The universe is a big place.
Depends on the range. If 10 feet, you’d survive most falls, but still bury yourself a portion of the time. 100 feet, probably dead. 200 thousand miles? Space sucks without an appropriate suit.
The problem is that Earth is unlikely to be there at all
Please elaborate, because there’s a at least a couple different things you could be referring to, and I’d rather not write something out on the wrong topic :)
I’ll stick with the strongest superpower of them all, I am Cables Never Tangle Man!
But you cannot tie knots anymore. Even worse - every knot you touch magically slips open. Be careful not to trip over your shoelaces!
Velcro has entered the chat…
So many tiny little knots
It’s going to look like a shag rug as soon as they touch it
Your cables break every 3 days
Every time you get an error it is unknown error
Teleportation
But you lose one of your socks every time you teleport and they’re like really cool unique ones that only work as a pair. Heartbreaking.
Butt stuff is marginally less fun.
Really depends on the butt
No, see, it’s all buts. That is the curse.
Master poet level fluency in all languages
You are now blind and deaf like Helen Keller. Good luck, she figured it out, you’ll be fine.
You can now hardly remember anything else (as happened to me, my memory is full of Chinese vocab with no space for anything else).
Terribly loud non-stop belching
So no new drawbacks, then? Sweet!
The power to talk to women without staring at their feet.
Instead you cannot stop staring at their boobs. And yes, that includes your family, bosses and so on.
deleted by creator
In long-deaf languages
Deal. I’m Autistic so that’s barely any different.
you can only speak to them in languages they don’t understand.
Switch sexes any time I prefer
Every time you switch you have to peel off a layer of dead skin line a cocoon.
Seems like a small payment honestly
Depending on the person, this might be a bonus.
Damn that’s harsh. I didn’t expect that, it seems you have some great imagination.
I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules
… provided you are playing Uno and have an reverse card.
