Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an off-hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way
Tired of lying in the sunshine, staying home to watch the rain
And you are young and life is long, and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
Acting like dying is a bad thing. Lol. Don’t threaten me with a good time.
The amount of hours we pour away slaving for the institution we were born into. How much of our lives do we spend doing shit we don’t want to do with people who don’t give a damn about us?
All so we can “earn” the right to food, shelter, and access to all that our communities have to offer from people who want nothing more than to exploit us for power.
Pink Floyd is such a great vibe. They made feelings into music so well…
Isn’t it funny how we want to spend our lives doing we want to do?
Haha well you’re dead now and it’s too late! XD
The best description I’ve ever heard about getting very old, it’s like being in a nice hot shower all your life and as you near the end, they just keep slowly turning off the hot water until you’re miserable. We just kinda fall apart in old age. The only future you’re looking forward to is your family reaching their own milestones, unless you’re financially prepared, your income dwindles. I’m sure it’s not like that for everyone, but at least in my circles, panel for is more like “I’m scared, but you know it’s about time”
one thing that I hope will help is building skills in hobbies that are easy on the body. painting, playing an instrument, writing, etc
too many people seem to fall into idle entertainment like TV or tablet games, which don’t offer much of a reason to get up in the morning
The days are long but the years are short.
The solo is perfect.
I just turned 30 today. I did not need to see this
I’m 54, I wish I was 30 again. Happy birthday. My cousin’s, birthday is today, he’s 48.
If it makes you feel any better, you would have turned 30 today regardless of what you have done in the past (unless you don’t make it to 30 (unless quantum immortality is real)).
Happy birthday! And if you aren’t happy with your efforts so far in life, better to tackle that looking forward than regret it looking back, though be kind to the yourself of today so you don’t regret spending your life preparing for the future instead of enjoying the moment.
20 is a baby. 30 is a newly adult person. actually turning 30 didn’t do much for me but a delayed realization that I’m over 30 did wonders. I stopped feeling like a teenager who has to put up with drama, or the youngest person in the room who has to suffer people’s bullshit for no reason. huge weight lift from the shoulders.
It’s just hard because everyone in my life had achieved something by my age. Even my more “grown up” friends I’ve made recently are like 25 and looking to get married and buy a house.
I know comparison is the thief of joy, but it really feels like I’ve wasted my life.
marriage is not an achievement and there’s a housing crisis. also looking to get something doesn’t mean you’re even close to getting it but whatever even if they did have those, it’s not in any way an indictment on you.
marriage doesn’t mean anything unless you have someone you want to be married to. the right time is when you’re ready to do it and it makes sense, not a specific age. if you’re a man, you’re even more free to wait as the societal pressure (or biological, if one wants kids) isn’t nearly as high as it is for women. not that it should be a deciding factor anyway for women but I’m just saying.
from what I’ve seen from people around me, being unmarried is infinitely better than marrying the wrong person.
take a breath, do right by yourself. 30 is ridiculously young to have “wasted your life”. lots of people find themselves in their 30s. as it is usually a time you start getting your shit together, now you will have an opportunity to actually think about what you want to do and how to do it.
I’m 33. You’ll be okay, I promise. I just started getting my shit together.
I’m about a decade older than that and still working on getting my shit together.
Adulting is hard, but at least there is some progress.My life has been nothing but a cycle of “getting my shit together” to “barely holding my shit together” to “all of my shit coming apart at the seams”, on repeat ever since I was a teenager.
Progress is ephemeral. Progress doesn’t mean jack when you end up back where you started cause of shit outside of your control.
Learn to let it all go and stop comparing your life to how it was. Life just is, enjoy it to the fullest however you can, cause tomorrow it could all be gone in a flash.
I’m 900 years old and I’m still learning to get it right. Don’t worry.
Į̴̲͔̖̼͔̭̳̮̖͈̺̺̤̣͆͑̏̎ͅ ̸̛̝̞̲͍̲̺̬̙̳̍͑̏̓̓͘a̵̛̪̹͚͉̠͖̍̈́͑̏͆͗̑̀̄̾̋̏̾̽m̷̻̰̳̻̲̗̖̙͎̋̅͋̀͑͋͑͂̉̾̕͘̕͠ ̴̨̧̧̛̱͇̺̤͈̠̭̝̗̋͐̎̆̓͑̈́̄̿̓̓͋̓͂͘e̴̲͇̫̱̒̓͑́̂̅̆͂̍̏̍̾̕͝n̴̢̨̛̬͎̈́̀̚͜ͅd̶̪̰͓͖̭̭͗l̸̡̧͖̪͙̣̪͔͎͕̟̗̜̦̝͎͕͗̏̏̿̑̂͐̎̈́̌̓̀͑̔̈́̚͝e̸̡̞̰͎̣͚̼̩͒̾̂̇́̌̌̂̈̏̏̉̇͘͘s̵͍̈́̾̆̂͋̃͒̄̾̏̓͘͠s̶͈̰̞͕̣͈͈̠͇̜̫͈͍̜̄͊̇̈̂̕͝,̵̨̨̱̬̪̻͙̫̬̙͔̤̫̣̣̗͛͛͜ ̸̱̈́́̈̑̓f̵̖̩̮̝̲̮̱̑̔͌̿̌͐͂̂̋̃̑̓͂̌̌̚ͅͅr̷͕͈̍̇̿̾̀̓̉̔͌͘͠ę̵̨̧̛͙̳̪̖͚͇͍̮̤̏̑̃͛́͂̐̓̄͑̂̉̎̊͘͠e̷̙͉̼̪̙͊̒̓̓̑̄̐̏̎̇̒̾͛͘͜ ̴̢̡̨̟̞͙̤̭͕̹͚̮̩̗͍̀͑̏̈́̈̕̚͜o̶̺͕͓͈̪͓̬̞͍̤̎͐̇͝ͅf̷͂̓̀̚͜ ̶͚͈͓̀̊͋̎̌͂̽͝ť̶̻̏͒̕͠į̴͈̮͚͖̲̣͊͆̏̽͊̎͌̽͜͠͝m̴̡̫̠̮̩̳̪͓̦̔͗̄͐͊͜͜ę̶͇͎̦͚̭̫͔̭̱͉̞̬̐̊͆͋̒̐̎̒͊͘͘͘̚͝ͅ,̴̛̘͙̖̺̟͎͇̅́̀͌̏̏̒̋͊̅̓̾͜͠͠͝ ̸̗̙̌̏Ī̷̢̤̳̥̼̤̀̚ ̸̢̧̧̛̰̯̰̭̗͚̙̣̟̯͙̰̹͊͊̈́͒͐͊̽̊͛̚̕͘̚ͅa̴̠͇͈̹̫̫̾̒̅̆̏̿͐̀̃͒̂͒̄̉̿͆̽m̵̡̨̛͇̯̹̻̠̪̹̙̝̗̩̻̱̞͓̉̈́͑̾́̓̕ ̴̨̡̱̳̩͓͕̼͉̪̪̹̞͔̟̱͑̿̂̿̌̈́́̑̃̚͜͝b̷̢̧̞̤̥̤̼̩̫͔̳̱͚̣͈̆̽̒̀̚ẽ̵̬̲̮̘̭̫̮͈͙̑̈͑͑̀̈̓̿̑ͅc̸͙̺̜̤̙̭̖̬̱̘͎͉̎̂̍̍̓̅̆̒̾͘̚͜͝͠ô̵̤͈͈͔̼̬̐̌̿̆̀̊͑ḿ̸̡̼̞͕̯̰͉͕̭̙͍͕͚̩̞̣͑̌͌͋̓͐̑̿̽̃͛̍̚̕͜ě̵̢͙͇̥̳̳̼̥͉͒̊̄͌́̌̾̔̓̈́̍̾͘̚ ̶̯̰̫͗̃d̷̯̗̤̻̪͙̙̞͍̦̠̔̈̀̏̔̄͜͠ę̷̜̈̈͜͝͝ṣ̷̙̫͉̦̑̍̔͛͗̊̆́̚͝͝t̸̡̪͍̱̥̰̱̠̲̀͛͋ͅi̷̥͙̦̤̠̮͊͐̒́̋̓͘͜ṉ̸̨̛͙͓̥̳͔͚͌̈́͐ý̷̢̨̢͉̮͇̪͍̟̙̹̩͗̈́͊͆̐̌̌̍͑̇̄̽͜.̶̡͚̖͎̜̙͉̫̣̙̣̗̘̝̯͗͋̐͜ ̵̬̖̯̻̗̍Į̵̦̞͉̜͖̣͓̲̤̠̙͂͂̅́͊͌ ̴̧̳̪̣̞̈́̆s̵̢̯̼̹̥̙̳̻̦̔̽͛͒̌̋͝͝͠ţ̴͈͎̪̤̣͌̔̆̏̇̍͋̚͝͝i̷̛̮̲̘͚̫͖̠̗̣͕͍͚͓͓̽̐͐̏̒̂̔̊͛̕̚l̶̡̞̗̩̮̙̻̤̫̀̑̒̽̈̾̍͒͜͠͝ͅl̵̡̦̗̥̪̫̙͍̣̓͌̊͐͒̊̅̑̓͋̚͘͝ ̵̲̟̰̫̹̬̦̹̇̂̀͑̊͐͂̇̀͋̎̎̕͜͝f̷̨̛̤̭̞͚͓̩̳̱͐͌o̶̧̟̜͛̚͝r̷̩͓̭̳̦͉̻̀̾̾̓̏͆̒̍̄̓͌̕g̷͇͓͙̯̹͍̼̦͆ͅȇ̵̹͚͓̟̞̙͇̗̆̎͠͝t̴̡̟̯̠͓͖̖̥̯͙͖̋̈́̿̃́̈̀͆͊͘ͅ ̴̮̦͖̬̞̳̣͉̭̬̝̘͖̇̃̃̎́͗̓̒̈͒ẉ̶̡̖̘̘̗̘̫̖̞̆́̄̊͆̋́̆̈́͂͌̉ḧ̴͇̼͍̯̗̺̩̘̘̪̗̣̫͈̰́̊̐̇̔͝͝e̸̡̜̻͚̲̬͛͑͐͊̒̓̌͂̀̂̌́̕ŗ̴̙̲̗̱̖̞̟̮̱̦̹̽̍̌͋̒͐̔̿̌̋̌̈́̈̍͠ĕ̸̘̥̬̖̪̱̝̻̬͂̐͛́́ ̸̛͕̞̯̗̩̲̭͔̠͙̔̈́̇̎̇̃̕͘I̴̧̫̱̰̣̝̟̲͎̲̳̜͐̍̑̄ ̵̻͓͚̥̬̬͕͉͚̘͖̿̄͋̈̈́͒͒̊̀̈́̈́͑̀̕̚͝p̵̦͙̭̦͚̤̱̗̘̠̥̯̯̙̀͘ą̸̼͙͇̹̰̬̝͇̝̟͖̿͒̎̆̌̊̌̈́̆̊̈̒̽͠ŗ̵̥́̈͛͑̋̆͌̃́͆̋̚k̷̢͔͈̼͇͕͍̹͚̜̲̯̻̱̝͍̘̓̃͋̓e̸̛͚̊̃͆̒͊̎͝d̶͉̐̔̌͘ ̶̡̥͓͙̲̘̺̳͙̀̍̐̄̍̈́͌̄͘m̷̧̰̻̹̌͗͆͆y̴̨̘̻̥͇̲̹̰̠̺̽͐̑̈́̐͒̍͛́̾́̈́͘͠ ̵̨̛̛̭̿̉̔̊̐̃͝͝c̸̢͇̼̬̖̫͚̳̙̲͙̮͌͠à̷̺̜̤͇̟͂̂͐̈́͜ŗ̴̛̛̲̳͖͔̉́̓́̿̀̊̍͘͘͘͝ ̸͚̼̞̪͍͇̗̘͖͇̲̣̌̀̊̀ș̸̡̛̘͚̫̳͇̤͚͈̈́̈̃̑̓̂̿͗͑̚ơ̸͓̪͔̜͍̣̻͖̻̘̤͓͎̩̮̒͌̎͜m̶̨̧̖̤̙̳̹͇̻̣̩͓͊̆̂́́̽͗̒̿̾̈͌̾͝͝͠e̴̢̡̥̞̬̼̲̫̪͇̼̯̞̪̟͒̇̍̈́̉̽̐̐t̷͓̼̝́̓̂̽͛̀̿į̶̨̧̲̹̖̼̱̲̭͕̫̊̐͗͌̏ͅm̷̥̙̃̍́́́e̸̫̲̳̗͇̗͎̮̩͙̖̖̰̥̻͓̯͛͗͆͐̄̈́̈͂̉̇̚̕͘s̶͉̖̲̟̰̲̱̬̭͔̖͚͚̈́̽͛̐̏͆̐͊̑͝.̴̭̯̈́͑͐͐̔̂̔͑̇̈́͘
wow I actually could read that. so the eyesight is still pretty alright.
what does it say?
it says:
Į̴̲͔̖̼͔̭̳̮̖͈̺̺̤̣͆͑̏̎ͅ ̸̛̝̞̲͍̲̺̬̙̳̍͑̏̓̓͘a̵̛̪̹͚͉̠͖̍̈́͑̏͆͗̑̀̄̾̋̏̾̽m̷̻̰̳̻̲̗̖̙͎̋̅͋̀͑͋͑͂̉̾̕͘̕͠ ̴̨̧̧̛̱͇̺̤͈̠̭̝̗̋͐̎̆̓͑̈́̄̿̓̓͋̓͂͘e̴̲͇̫̱̒̓͑́̂̅̆͂̍̏̍̾̕͝n̴̢̨̛̬͎̈́̀̚͜ͅd̶̪̰͓͖̭̭͗l̸̡̧͖̪͙̣̪͔͎͕̟̗̜̦̝͎͕͗̏̏̿̑̂͐̎̈́̌̓̀͑̔̈́̚͝e̸̡̞̰͎̣͚̼̩͒̾̂̇́̌̌̂̈̏̏̉̇͘͘s̵͍̈́̾̆̂͋̃͒̄̾̏̓͘͠s̶͈̰̞͕̣͈͈̠͇̜̫͈͍̜̄͊̇̈̂̕͝,̵̨̨̱̬̪̻͙̫̬̙͔̤̫̣̣̗͛͛͜ ̸̱̈́́̈̑̓f̵̖̩̮̝̲̮̱̑̔͌̿̌͐͂̂̋̃̑̓͂̌̌̚ͅͅr̷͕͈̍̇̿̾̀̓̉̔͌͘͠ę̵̨̧̛͙̳̪̖͚͇͍̮̤̏̑̃͛́͂̐̓̄͑̂̉̎̊͘͠e̷̙͉̼̪̙͊̒̓̓̑̄̐̏̎̇̒̾͛͘͜ ̴̢̡̨̟̞͙̤̭͕̹͚̮̩̗͍̀͑̏̈́̈̕̚͜o̶̺͕͓͈̪͓̬̞͍̤̎͐̇͝ͅf̷͂̓̀̚͜ ̶͚͈͓̀̊͋̎̌͂̽͝ť̶̻̏͒̕͠į̴͈̮͚͖̲̣͊͆̏̽͊̎͌̽͜͠͝m̴̡̫̠̮̩̳̪͓̦̔͗̄͐͊͜͜ę̶͇͎̦͚̭̫͔̭̱͉̞̬̐̊͆͋̒̐̎̒͊͘͘͘̚͝ͅ,̴̛̘͙̖̺̟͎͇̅́̀͌̏̏̒̋͊̅̓̾͜͠͠͝ ̸̗̙̌̏Ī̷̢̤̳̥̼̤̀̚ ̸̢̧̧̛̰̯̰̭̗͚̙̣̟̯͙̰̹͊͊̈́͒͐͊̽̊͛̚̕͘̚ͅa̴̠͇͈̹̫̫̾̒̅̆̏̿͐̀̃͒̂͒̄̉̿͆̽m̵̡̨̛͇̯̹̻̠̪̹̙̝̗̩̻̱̞͓̉̈́͑̾́̓̕ ̴̨̡̱̳̩͓͕̼͉̪̪̹̞͔̟̱͑̿̂̿̌̈́́̑̃̚͜͝b̷̢̧̞̤̥̤̼̩̫͔̳̱͚̣͈̆̽̒̀̚ẽ̵̬̲̮̘̭̫̮͈͙̑̈͑͑̀̈̓̿̑ͅc̸͙̺̜̤̙̭̖̬̱̘͎͉̎̂̍̍̓̅̆̒̾͘̚͜͝͠ô̵̤͈͈͔̼̬̐̌̿̆̀̊͑ḿ̸̡̼̞͕̯̰͉͕̭̙͍͕͚̩̞̣͑̌͌͋̓͐̑̿̽̃͛̍̚̕͜ě̵̢͙͇̥̳̳̼̥͉͒̊̄͌́̌̾̔̓̈́̍̾͘̚ ̶̯̰̫͗̃d̷̯̗̤̻̪͙̙̞͍̦̠̔̈̀̏̔̄͜͠ę̷̜̈̈͜͝͝ṣ̷̙̫͉̦̑̍̔͛͗̊̆́̚͝͝t̸̡̪͍̱̥̰̱̠̲̀͛͋ͅi̷̥͙̦̤̠̮͊͐̒́̋̓͘͜ṉ̸̨̛͙͓̥̳͔͚͌̈́͐ý̷̢̨̢͉̮͇̪͍̟̙̹̩͗̈́͊͆̐̌̌̍͑̇̄̽͜.̶̡͚̖͎̜̙͉̫̣̙̣̗̘̝̯͗͋̐͜ ̵̬̖̯̻̗̍Į̵̦̞͉̜͖̣͓̲̤̠̙͂͂̅́͊͌ ̴̧̳̪̣̞̈́̆s̵̢̯̼̹̥̙̳̻̦̔̽͛͒̌̋͝͝͠ţ̴͈͎̪̤̣͌̔̆̏̇̍͋̚͝͝i̷̛̮̲̘͚̫͖̠̗̣͕͍͚͓͓̽̐͐̏̒̂̔̊͛̕̚l̶̡̞̗̩̮̙̻̤̫̀̑̒̽̈̾̍͒͜͠͝ͅl̵̡̦̗̥̪̫̙͍̣̓͌̊͐͒̊̅̑̓͋̚͘͝ ̵̲̟̰̫̹̬̦̹̇̂̀͑̊͐͂̇̀͋̎̎̕͜͝f̷̨̛̤̭̞͚͓̩̳̱͐͌o̶̧̟̜͛̚͝r̷̩͓̭̳̦͉̻̀̾̾̓̏͆̒̍̄̓͌̕g̷͇͓͙̯̹͍̼̦͆ͅȇ̵̹͚͓̟̞̙͇̗̆̎͠͝t̴̡̟̯̠͓͖̖̥̯͙͖̋̈́̿̃́̈̀͆͊͘ͅ ̴̮̦͖̬̞̳̣͉̭̬̝̘͖̇̃̃̎́͗̓̒̈͒ẉ̶̡̖̘̘̗̘̫̖̞̆́̄̊͆̋́̆̈́͂͌̉ḧ̴͇̼͍̯̗̺̩̘̘̪̗̣̫͈̰́̊̐̇̔͝͝e̸̡̜̻͚̲̬͛͑͐͊̒̓̌͂̀̂̌́̕ŗ̴̙̲̗̱̖̞̟̮̱̦̹̽̍̌͋̒͐̔̿̌̋̌̈́̈̍͠ĕ̸̘̥̬̖̪̱̝̻̬͂̐͛́́ ̸̛͕̞̯̗̩̲̭͔̠͙̔̈́̇̎̇̃̕͘I̴̧̫̱̰̣̝̟̲͎̲̳̜͐̍̑̄ ̵̻͓͚̥̬̬͕͉͚̘͖̿̄͋̈̈́͒͒̊̀̈́̈́͑̀̕̚͝p̵̦͙̭̦͚̤̱̗̘̠̥̯̯̙̀͘ą̸̼͙͇̹̰̬̝͇̝̟͖̿͒̎̆̌̊̌̈́̆̊̈̒̽͠ŗ̵̥́̈͛͑̋̆͌̃́͆̋̚k̷̢͔͈̼͇͕͍̹͚̜̲̯̻̱̝͍̘̓̃͋̓e̸̛͚̊̃͆̒͊̎͝d̶͉̐̔̌͘ ̶̡̥͓͙̲̘̺̳͙̀̍̐̄̍̈́͌̄͘m̷̧̰̻̹̌͗͆͆y̴̨̘̻̥͇̲̹̰̠̺̽͐̑̈́̐͒̍͛́̾́̈́͘͠ ̵̨̛̛̭̿̉̔̊̐̃͝͝c̸̢͇̼̬̖̫͚̳̙̲͙̮͌͠à̷̺̜̤͇̟͂̂͐̈́͜ŗ̴̛̛̲̳͖͔̉́̓́̿̀̊̍͘͘͘͝ ̸͚̼̞̪͍͇̗̘͖͇̲̣̌̀̊̀ș̸̡̛̘͚̫̳͇̤͚͈̈́̈̃̑̓̂̿͗͑̚ơ̸͓̪͔̜͍̣̻͖̻̘̤͓͎̩̮̒͌̎͜m̶̨̧̖̤̙̳̹͇̻̣̩͓͊̆̂́́̽͗̒̿̾̈͌̾͝͝͠e̴̢̡̥̞̬̼̲̫̪͇̼̯̞̪̟͒̇̍̈́̉̽̐̐t̷͓̼̝́̓̂̽͛̀̿į̶̨̧̲̹̖̼̱̲̭͕̫̊̐͗͌̏ͅm̷̥̙̃̍́́́e̸̫̲̳̗͇̗͎̮̩͙̖̖̰̥̻͓̯͛͗͆͐̄̈́̈͂̉̇̚̕͘s̶͉̖̲̟̰̲̱̬̭͔̖͚͚̈́̽͛̐̏͆̐͊̑͝.̴̭̯̈́͑͐͐̔̂̔͑̇̈́͘
just kidding.
here’s what I could read:
i am endless tree of time. i am become destiny. i still forget where i parked my car sometimes.
Are those the dead see scrolls?
Exactly
This comic reminds me of the same gripe I had with the movie Click.
The message seems to be “Life is short and precious, so appreciate every moment, because it’ll be over before you know it.” Which sounds nice, and sweet, and thoughtful, and is complete and utter horse shit.
There are times when life just plain sucks. When it’s boring or tedious or even torturous, and it would be 100% worth skipping if you could. When you have a headache at the airport and have just found out your flight has been delayed by 3 hours. When your tooth cracks at 4am and you’re waiting for hours in agony until a dentist opens up. When you finished a long work day and just want to get home and collapse, only to find the roads are blocked in a massive traffic jam. These are not fulfilling experiences. You do not learn or grow in any way, except to become more tolerant to enduring unfulfilling experiences. Of course it would be better if you could skip those things!
“Every day is hell, but take time to enjoy the small moments of joy it offers” I think is a better message
Even the bad experiences of your life shape who you become, a life with no hardships would probably be dull, ofcourse it’s a balancing act like most things in life
But yu can’t
And the message is to make the best out of those bad moments somehow because like it or not, they’re still a part of life and you only will have exactly one life. If you try to skip out the bad moments instead of making them better you only spend a lot of time not living
Again. Total horseshit.
Skip out on the bad moments if you can! Are you crazy?! Live your life! Don’t simply choose to accept monotony just because it exists! You’re saying you shouldn’t try to actively avoid bad moments?! What the fuck kind of grin-and-bear-it nonsense is that?!
Of course, avoid suffering as much as possible. But even you have to agree that one cannot simply avoid all adversity.
Even though it would be nice to have a skip button, the reality is that we do not. So the job of philosophy like above is to make such moments bearable. It is almost pragmatic.
well of course you should try to avoid them, but sometimes shit happens. and bad shit happens to good ppl.
it’s how you deal with it that can turn those adversities into a learning and growing experience.
and no, it is almost never easy.
If the movie had any actual balls it would have leaned harder into the parallels between his magic remote and suicidality, and it would have shown a lot more of the agony of choosing between experiencing the absolute worst things in life versus escaping entirely into nothingness.
But it was a kid’s movie so there we are.
I wrote myself off as dead at 14, after having a look at my situation. Was not too far off, surprised I ever got a job or lived to 30
A lot of unhappy teens and young people can’t imagine enduring a whole lifetime after they get even a short taste of how exceptionally bad life can be. And it doesn’t help that so many people hold onto this feeling through their lives that they don’t work towards a better tomorrow - making the societal problems even worse as so many people stop investing in their communities and their future.
As one of those that carried that feeling throughout my life. It’s not that I haven’t worked to make things better. I’ve worked my ass off and all I’ve been able to achieve is barely treading water. I can’t invest in my community because I don’t have any spare resources to do so. I’m almost 40 and I’m still renting a room out of someone’s basement ffs and there’s no indication that anything is going to get better any time soon. If I wasn’t on the hook to act as a (shitty) safety net for my brother’s family when our parents are gone I’d have probably domed myself by now.
I’m middle-aged and with a good career in the tech sector and I’m in very nearly the same situation.
Community is what you make, sometimes it’s no more complicated than talking to the same people every evening when you take a walk or getting to know your neighbor. Your brother’s family is your community. Your family is your community.
I will repeat what I said in another post here, in one of my own darkest periods after literally losing everything and almost everyone in my life, I wrote myself a note I keep in a box labeled “open in case of emergency:”
“There is no wrong way to live. Just being here, experiencing anything is a cosmic miracle, it’s literally impossible to waste your life.”
Community is what you make, sometimes it’s no more complicated than talking to the same people every evening when you take a walk or getting to know your neighbor. Your brother’s family is your community. Your family is your community.
I mean, great, I have family and some good friends too, but none of us have anything to spare and we’re all struggling to hold our shit together constantly. We get together and hang out a lot but we’re not able to actually fulfill any of our goals or grow as people. I want to do more with my life than just fucking consume bullshit and worry about if I’m going to have enough money to handle the next emergency.
Eh, it’s not one specific thing that triggered it. I was left alone too long, and realized I was failing. So I made some very dark and cynical conclusions that didn’t help my growth at all. Basically, I believed I was inferior to other people, and that the only way I can achieve anything is to throw away my life, and focus on success instead, which backfired (trying to suppress all emotions just made me unmotivated and miserable, which was made worse by ADHD). Took quite the long time to realize something.
Nowadays, I’m trying to establish a balance to compartmentalize my time, expectations, and experiences. I want to keep a routine and discipline, so that when it’s time to say, draw something, I will only do that, and care about nothing else. Only care about work during work, only be available to friends at a certain time, and work on myself with a cool head.
The idea is to be completely detached from the outcome. I don’t care if I fail or succeed, since trying too hard also backfired in the past. Worrying too much about a problem just caused extreme anxiety and brain fog.
Instead, it is important to just go through routine and try, try to have some semblance of a meaningful life, with no expectations.
So far, I can’t really even do that, I have a lot of disfunction to make up for, somehow. I tend to forget what I’m supposed to do for entire hours…
Worrying too much about a problem just caused extreme anxiety and brain fog.
I beat the worst of my depression and anxiety by connecting this very idea to the realization that my brain would start writing stories to explain my feelings, and those stories didn’t necessarily need to even make sense, but those repetitions were reinforcing a feeling, which reinforced the thoughts, which reinforced the feelings… etc, etc. It’s called rumination and it’s the enemy of life and happiness.
Learning to identify where my feelings start attacking my thoughts helped me beat rumination but that’s only the first step.
So far, I can’t really even do that, I have a lot of disfunction to make up for, somehow. I tend to forget what I’m supposed to do for entire hours…
You’re on the next step, which is healing and trying to find new meaning. It will get better, but keep pushing yourself to discomfort, to doing things you’re not used to. Your brain is locked into “survival mode” and that means a lot of executive function is still in safe-mode, bare necessities for survival only. It makes it harder to experience joy or fulfillment from even the small things that people enjoy.
Some of my therapists have told me this heals and you will rebuild yourself. I can tell it is healing slowly, but it takes so much time. I wish I could tell you how long it takes. I’m still on that step.
It takes forever, as it is always an ongoing process that keeps healing. It will get better for us though.
fuck it, doesn’t have to be your teen yrs.
had that happen in my 30s, truly believing I wouldn’t see 40.
yet thankfully here I still am.“this too shall pass”
“this too shall pass”
Having gone through a mid-life “reset” and having to say goodbye to nearly everyone and everything I knew for the first several decades was not an experience I would want to repeat, or even think back to most days.
But even through the worst moments of those years where I had to do some of the very hardest things that anyone would ever have to do, I chanted to myself under my breath “this too shall pass.”
And it did. It slowly, agonizingly, got better. It all passes. And eventually you will look around and realize it passed too fast.
true words of wisdom
What if you’re actually on your deathbed and this moment is just your “life flashes before your eyes”, but in slow-mo? 🤔
Anyways, childhood was weird to think about, I could almost remember the exact moment, I feel like I was there, I could imagine being there right now, but the moment is already gone, just a memory. 😥
Memory is a funny thing that doesn’t work the way we think it does. And when you realize how it actually works, you start feeling a weird sensation of weightlessness and unease that maybe we’re fundamentally, deeply mistaken about what this entire experience of existing is.
The brain does not write data and record things the way, say a memory card or hard drive does. The “snapshots” in a brain are more like linked together associations, a network of connected sensations and experiences that come together in a specific way to actually simulate an event.
You do not recall things. You simulate things. This is why memory is so unreliable and why we can remember false things. It’s very much like entering a prompt into a AI image generator, you ask the brain to create a scene based on the associations you had with an experience, and it runs what it thinks probably happened.
The deeply mistaken part of our experience is that our brains are somehow a logical device for storing data and then coming up with logical explanations. The brain doesn’t do that though, the brain is JUST a storytelling device, it links together experiences to create associations and then tells a story to make them connect. When you understand this, like when you really, finally internalize this fact, it can actually free you from a lot of mental health issues like ruminating depression. (The feelings of sadness will still be there at times, but it won’t be connected to your life, it won’t ruin your whole day or week or year.)
But it’s also deeply unsettling to realize we don’t really have a past or future, all we have is a simulating device that tells stories for the most likely explanation for why you’re here now, and what may happen next because of it.
I’ve always heard it as when you recall things you reenforce that memory. And memory does work in mysterious ways.
Sometimes I can remember what someone said word for word a decade ago, but not what I did at work a week ago. Selective attention I guess.
But I can tell you this… after witnessing my dad slowly (and then in the end very fast) declining cognitively because of a form of Alzheimers: cherish your memory, because one day it might fade away.
The worst part was in the middle of those 10+ yrs (yes he was somewhat ‘lucky’ in that aspect) when he realized he had trouble remembering things and seeing the utter frustration of him trying to get to the pt of a story or some memory halfway through.
I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemyI mean, you could say nothing is real. Computers is just electricity doing magic tricks, I’m not typing this comment, you’re not reading this comment, its just weird electron and radio magic tricks.
Money isn’t real… or is it? I mean, sure, its a bunch of arbitrary numbers, but at the end of the day, its these strange papers (or a card tap) that is required before you can obtain your survival needs. So it is very much real.
Nothing exists, its just atoms doing a weird dance?
This is reality, a reality that is born from emergence. Memories are real, it emerged from a very real moment in history. Einstein have proven to us that the universe is probably a block universe, that very past very much exists, and its effects are present. And memories can be useful. Its lets you know to never trust your abusive sibling again, it lets you know to never trust those power-trippin cops again, its reminds you that government is not to be trusted, authoity is to be questioned. It tells you how to identify propaganda, because you’ve seen it before. It gets you out of bad situations.
Memories don’t paint details, its give you a close outline. The core story are very much accurate, at least most of it. People remember false details, yes, because brains aren’t evolved to handle precise details. People don’t understand how to use their brain and inadvertently invent the details, and mis-recording the memory into their brain.
I don’t do that, I accept my brain is imperfect, and I don’t claim to know everything, but, while I do not remember the exact details, I know for a fact that my older brother’s abuse towards me was real, no amount of gaslighting can delete that.
No amount of gaslighting can erase the pain of being tied up for a few hours by my brother while my parents are at work, to be alone in the streets in a massive city after trying to run away because I didn’t feel safe at home, to be bullied by classmates, to face racism and xenophobia, unjustifiable detained in a police station for several agonizing hours, these are very much real, idk about the details, the the overall outline of it is real.
I’m sorry you went through that, my message is not meant to dismiss or invalidate what anyone has experienced, but to give you a better mental framework for deciding how literally any experience can or should impact you and how you can manage your thoughts to have more control over your feelings for a better quality of life to some regard.
Nothing is “real” in the strictest sense because there is no such thing as objective reality. Everything is just a personal experience or a frame of reference of changing events, but the only reason we think there’s a before and after “now” is because we have brains designed to simulate those evolutions. We’ve tested this over and over in very expensive experiments as well as experiments you can do at home, it’s a fundamental fact of reality, but I find this message empowering, not dismissive or downplaying our experiences, but rather it gives some measure of control over how we are going to let things like trauma effect our daily life.
Free will also isn’t real, but, ironically, we still have to “make decisions”.
What I’m saying is, even if the memories are just nothing more than neurons in the brain, there is still “ghosts” that continues to follow you.
Even if you can get a “mind wipe” and forget everything, trauma often causes permanent brain changes that’s outside of the memory part (hippocampus?), its a long-lasting change. Forgetting doesn’t fixes mental problems, it can actually exacerbate them since you wouldn’t have the memory to explain why you have these seemingly random fears.
The arrow of time of thermodymanics is definitely real, we aren’t omniscient, we don’t perceive everything all at once, so to us, there is a “before” and “after”. You can go visit Six Flags tomorrow*, but its impossible to visit the exact moment you went to Six Flags years ago when you were a kid.
*Yes I know its ironic, given I just mentioned free will doesn’t exist.
(Sorry its just a bunch of incoherent thoughts, kinda just thinking aloud you know? lol)
I am still torn about free will. Some of my darkest crashes in life have been realizing that I don’t know the “source” of my own thoughts and cognition, meaning I found my “rails.” I realized that my thoughts are being generated and I’m only responding to them.
But even if we’re just riding along on basically a movie with the illusion of free-will, we are still experiencing it, and that is something that lay outside even our interpretations of the universe and freedom of choices. Sure, your entire cognitive experience might be generated by neurons simulating a reality from deterministic information input, but there is still some “thing” that gives you a singular experience of the universe out of that. It might not be free-will, but maybe our notions of free will are lacking, maybe there’s something else that means more than whether or not you can actually decide out of “nowhere” if you’re going to walk into the next room. This is the Hard Problem of Consciousness and why no matter how many tests we do and how many brain patterns we scan, we can never actually know if you see blue the same way I do.
This is the only thing that’s separate from our memory, our experiences, our timeline, whether or not it’s on rails. Everything else is a simulation your brain is running and the structure of that brain evolving through time.
Forgetting doesn’t fixes mental problems, it can actually exacerbate them since you wouldn’t have the memory to explain why you have these seemingly random fears.
Sure, I agree but we’re still just talking about brain structure. There are massive parts of your brain, countless “layers” of thought, recognition, analysis and reasoning, but you’re not aware of them. This is why trauma can haunt you even if you don’t remember it, this is why someone who has a head injury can sometimes develop an entirely new personality, this is why if you have your hemispheres separated, someone can show your non-verbal hemisphere a picture of a cat, then instruct your verbal side to draw a picture and you will draw a cat without knowing why, and even make up a memory on the spot for why you decided to draw a cat.
six flags
Maybe unrelated but since we’re jamming with random ideas about consciousness, it’s a good time to make a small rant about how time-travel is portrayed in fiction. It’s utterly impossible to “go back” in time, since every point in time is just a potential configuration of space and particles. The only way you can see the past is reassemble the entire universe from starting conditions until it has that configuration again. If you were able to “rewind” time, your brain would also rewind and you would just be experiencing that configuration again without any knowledge of future events.
But really, we can’t even say for certain that six flags exists. We can’t say for certain that the universe didn’t spring into existence 5 minutes ago, and your brain is just assembling a reasonable explanation for your world, six flags and quasars and elephants and childhood trauma and all… it may be doing this at every moment.
All we can say for certain is that you are experiencing something right now and everything else is branching off that experience. This is idea can send people (like myself) into deep spirals of solipsistic despair, but I think at the end of the day I will take this over the alternative.
I’m 47 and it’s really starting to accelerate. Enjoy your youth. Time is short. Do what you enjoy now.
It’s not the physical age, it’s how far from home you are.
Although ‘home’ def has something to do with it, home is where and what you make of it. Though sometimes not by choice.
Age however never slows down. I always say it’s not how old you are, but how old you feel, physically but also mentally.
I’m north of 40, feel 30 physically, act like 15 sometimes.
But everyone’s brain and body is different. It’s how you perceive it (not how others perceive it) that you can change.
Physically I feel 17, mentally I feel 10.000. In other words, very senile, and I run around like I’m on crack.
As in being farther from home decelerates aging, or accelerates it?
As in, the older you are, the less familiar things are. Family members die and you can never see them again, no one knows or gets any media you knew, many doors close. It would not really matter if you were like a timelord. You can have eternal youth, but you will still be old. Most people miss the point of this when they say “Oh aren’t even half-way into your life! You got so much more to go!”…
…so much more of what? Just a career, and hoping to find some peace. Most activities just hit different, and you may understand people, but they won’t understand you.
Every time I meet up with a friend, I cherish it like it’s our last time. Because it could be the last time.
Give up an inch and they take a mile.Give up a day and they take a lifetime.
Some kid was being a smartass to me so I told him I hoped he aged horribly. He is 23 now and balding.
Is he…your son?
so when does the curse kick in, you hairy asshole? :P
For the young the days go fast and the years go slow; for the old the days go slow and the years go fast.
—Anna Quindlen, Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake (2012)
